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躲在酒吧角落里面，一杯，又一杯，又一杯，Elliott 的脾气变的有些坏，童年的不幸遭遇，白天的压力，女朋友，一杯，又一杯，一整夜一个羞涩的大男孩给你讲述着他的不幸的故事．酗酒时不是真正的他，醉了就什么都不记得了．
Between the bars
Drink up, baby, stay up all night.
With the things you could do,
You won't but you might.
The potential you'll be,
That you'll never see,
The promises you'll only make.
Drink up with me now,
And forget all about
The pressure of days.
Do what I say,
And I'll make you okay,
And drive them away
(The images stuck in your head:
People you've been before
That you don't want around anymore—
That push and shove and won't bend to your will.
I’ll keep them still).
Drink up, baby, look at the stars.
I'll kiss you again
Between the bars,
Where i'm seeing you there,
With your hands in the air,
Waiting to finally be caught.
Drink up one more time,
And I'll make you mine.
Keep you apart,
Deep in my heart,
Separate from the rest,
Where I like you the best,
And keep the things you forgot.
The people you've been before
That you don't want around anymore—
That push and shove and won't bend to your will.
I'll keep them still.
http://www.liepaper.com/betweenthebars.mp3
我来和你说一个故事吧，一个有着人间最悲惨 结局的爱情故事，那个死去的瓷娃娃可以见证这一切．曾经是那么熟悉的名字，很开心，我的记忆中还有那么一点点值得回味的东西，日子一天天的过去，我们在慢慢变老，也许我还是不那么了解你，可不管怎么我爱着你，
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
最后的那句I'm tired预言了这个故事最终是个悲剧．
Waltz #2
First the mic then a half cigarette
Singing 'Cathy's Clown'
That's the man she's married to now
That's the girl that he takes around town
She appears composed, so she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
Now she's done and they're calling someone
Such a familiar name
I'm so glad that my memory's remote
Cause I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note
Here it is, the revenge to the tune
"You're no good,
You're no good you're no good you're no good"
Can't you tell that it's well understood
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm here today and expected to stay on and on and on
I'm tired
I'm tired
Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO, Mom
It's ok, it's alright, nothing's wrong
Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans to just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now
But I'm gonna love you anyhow
http://www.liepaper.com/xo.mp3
because
他是The Beatles的热爱者，经撑?粟演唱会上唱George Harrison的《Isn’t It A Pity》，常常被指责剽窃The Beatles,可其实他更象是复活的Nick Drake
http://www.mychangshu.com/forum/images/upload/2005/02/03/092603.mp3
Happiness说的是一个演员的死,死是我们看到的最终结果,其过程是怎样的痛苦我们不得而知,但elliott却把它当成了一种解脱.
在《Spin》杂志的摄影棚里，摄影师让Smith穿上沾满假血的白T恤，然后做非常痛苦的样子，Smith当时就觉得这样做不过一个贩卖痛苦的可笑的小丑,演员的死,没有怪那个女警察,她也是爱莫能助,nothing else could've been done.更象是自我的毁灭,He made his life a lie so he might never have to know anyone,他觉得是他自己将一切搞的一团糟,甚至没有怪他那个残暴的继父,Figure 8时期他的心里面只有创造和毁灭存在,就象他左臂上的Kali纹身—那是印度教中掌管创造和毁灭的女神。
Happiness
Activity's killing the actor
And a cop's standing out in the road turning traffic away
There was nothing she could do until after
When his body'd been buried below
Way back in the day
Oh my, nothing else could've been done
He made his life a lie so he might never have to know anyone
Made his life the lie you know
I told him he shouldn't upset her
And that he'd only be making it worse involving somebody else
But I knew that he'd never forget her
While her memory worked in reverse to keep her safe from herself
And oh my, nothing else could've been done
She made her life a lie so she might never have to know anyone
Made her life the lie you know
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness for you and me
http://www.mychangshu.com/forum/images/upload/2005/02/03/095440.mp3
Say yes
I'm in love with the world
Through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago
But I grew up, I didn't know
You'd be around the morning after
It's always been wait and see
A happy day and then you pay
You feel like shit the morning after
But now I feel changed around
And instead of falling down
I'm standing up the morning after
Situations get fucked up
And turned around sooner or laaaaaatteeeeeeeeer
I could be another fool
Or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after
Crickets spin can't come to rest
I'm damaged bad at best
She'll decide what she wants
I'll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows
See how is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss
They want you or they don't
Say Yes
I'm in love with the world
Through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
... ...
Angeles
Someone’s always coming around here trailing some new kill
Say I seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill
And what’s a game of chance to you, to him is one of real skill
So glad to meet you
Angeles
Picking up the ticket shows there’s money to be made
Go on and lose the gamble that’s the history of the trade
You add up all the cards left to play to zero
And sign up with evil
Angeles
Don’t start me trying now
Cos I’m all over it
Angeles
I could make you satisfied in everything you do
All your ‘secret wishes’ could right now be coming true
And be forever with my poison arms around you
No one’s gonna fool around with us
So glad to meet you
Angeles
艾略特起身整理一下蓬乱的头发。
现在是凌晨4点，他早已没了睡意。他隐约听见一种从遗?硕地方袭来的声音，好像小时候在乡下看到的奔跑的火车。母亲告诉他，这里经常有小孩子被火车碾死。他于是站在远处看它呼啸而过。他喜欢这种声音，他想走近些，可是想到母亲话语里的那个‘死’，他又堵住耳朵，向后退去。
他知道这种声音会永远陪伴他。他相信生命的永恒轮回，永远，大概也意味着乌有。床头依旧是齐克果的《或此或彼》，在彼此之间，人们无从选择。这种不由意识支配的意识，倒让他觉得释然。而他似乎注定要在命里挣扎，试图逃脱，试图清醒。
每天的这个时候，蕾丝还在熟睡，他轻轻掀开温暖的被子，蜷缩在床边，让夜晚的余热在体内逗留。墙上挂着的白色礼服是他唯一一件正式的服装，那天当艾略特穿着它走上舞台时，人们仿佛看到从另一个世界刚刚出生的孩子，含着纯真的眼神安静地注视陌生的一切。他想到这些，莫明笑了，他是那么吝啬笑容，然而有时却会不由自主地笑起来。不知道的人会以为艾略特变得快乐了，然而他却一如既往地热爱着沉默，热爱酒精，热爱孤独的音符，还有那一身属于他真实自我的破烂皮衣。他闭上眼，那段旋律夹杂在喧嚣的背景里，却如此清澈地回荡在他的意识中：
他捧着吉他，拨动松弛的琴弦，那弦似乎变得无比沉重，好像一根上了年头的牛皮带，那根皮带缠住了德雷克的脖颈，此时又缠住了艾略特的手指。 在他的吉他上不知有多少根这样的皮带，他想挣扎却又臣服于它们，它们在对他的灵魂进行着控诉。他开始哼起来：
“你为什么叫我诗人
我不是诗人
我只是个哭泣的孩子
看，我只有洒下沉默的眼泪……”
他仿佛闻到了天使的气味，芳香的酒精夹杂青草的味道，有一股让他感到沸腾的寒意。
他点了一支烟，天快亮了。蕾丝依旧睡得很甜，她的头发亲吻着枕巾，像一团黑色的火焰。艾略特抚摩着这团火焰，许久，他睁开眼，在手心里写下这样的字：
“遇见你很高兴，天使”
他又笑了，这次，他能感觉到发自心底的笑容。
他从抽屉里取出一张白皙的纸，他从没用这样整洁的纸写过东西。
他于是颤抖地写下两行整齐的字：
“对不起。——爱你的天使
上帝，请原谅我。”
他把纸放在枕边，再看一眼他的蕾丝，此时的她，已不再是他梦里的天使。
他将烟掐灭在手心里。
当人们从梦中醒来的时候，天使却睡去了。一根匕首插进了他的心脏。他脸色明媚，含着发自心底的笑容，好像受到了丘比特的恩惠。人们不再记起他的名字，只记得他死时的样子，像个天使。他的手心里写着这么几个字：
“遇见你很高兴”
在它后面，一个深深的焦灼印记，包裹着一桩秘密的礼物。人们闻不见烟灰的余味，空气里飘散的，只有芳香的酒精和青草的味道。
乐生者未必贪生怕死，自杀者未必不热爱生活。加缪在《西西弗斯神话》中说：真正严峻的哲学问题只有一个，就是可否自杀。断定了人生是否值得活下去，等于回答了哲学的根本问题。苏联诗人Mayakovsky说过：“人必须选择一种生活并且有勇气坚持下去。”而在不停的选择与被选择中，Elliott Smith选择了不坚持。（《通俗歌曲》269期）
http://www.liepaper.com/angeles.mp3
后记：上帝说“对不起，我在你身上栽种了音符、却给了你一颗忧伤的灵魂，孩子，跟随我来吧，希望你快乐。”
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发表于 2006-4-23 10:54:55